You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
