i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she looked like the before picture.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
