Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
