Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
