I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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