if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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