what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
