so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
