How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
