I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
