So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
