Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
