there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
