Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize