so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
