You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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