Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
