am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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