If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
