i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
