She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
