kristin has been a bad kristin
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
