You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
