he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just had sex on a roof
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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