the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize