i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
