My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
