If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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