Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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