Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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