Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
