You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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