too bad you live with your parents still
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
