seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
