hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fuck appropriateness.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just high enough for therapy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
