I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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