I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
