You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
