you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
