I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
