I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
