At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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