either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
