Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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