Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize