her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
