...so i touched it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was CRYING into my vagina
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My bed smells like the plague
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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