Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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