We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
