Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And then my night got REAL pukey
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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