also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
