You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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