and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
