Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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