Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
