Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
