Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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