the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
