You made me cry and you don't even care
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
