is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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