my mouth tastes like poor choices
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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