I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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