Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
